The Twelve Month Experiment
by simorch87
Summary: Sheldon, Penny and The Gang head to Vegas for Thanksgiving. What happens in Vegas results in a secret 12 month experiment between Sheldon and Penny.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all, this is my first fanfiction, I do not own The Big Bang Theory. It's owned by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. I just like to play with the characters. **

* * *

The last twelve months have been the longest and craziest of my adult life. It was now time to come clean, so we could move onto the next phase.

I don't really want to face the music but until we do Sheldon and I can't be together.

"You ready honey?"

"Yes, my Penny blossom"

I slowly wrap my arms around Sheldon's neck. His come down around my waist. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him passionately, for the first time today.

"I love you"

"I love you to Penny."

I rest my forehead against Sheldon's chest and just enjoy the slow movement of his deep calm breathes and the warmth of his arms around me. Usually he only lets his guard down when it's just us and he knows the guys aren't around to interrupt. He becomes someone else. The phobias disappear and he becomes the sweet gentle man I've always wanted.

"Come on Penny, we don't want to be late to our own meeting."

Grudgingly i let go. "Sheldon will you kiss me once more before we leave?" I need to feel his reassurance. I need his lips on mine to know this isn't a dream and that we will be together no matter what. I haven't told Sheldon yet but we are expecting.

I know it's the wrong moment to tell him, but I need him to understand how much I've given of myself to him. That this can't, not work. "Sheldon, we do this together, alright? Don't let them tear us apart. I don't think we, I place my hand on my stomach could bare to be without you."

"Penny I don't understand. What do you mean "we"?"

If he was anyone else he would have picked up on the gesture, but then again if he was any one else he wouldn't be Sheldon. He wouldn't be the man I love. I've found it's better to be straight forward with him. "Sheldon I'm pregnant."

He goes deadly silent. His brows scrunch up like he is deep in thought. Slowly a smile replaces the frown.

"How far along are you?"

"One month"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only just found out" I look every where but at him, it's my tell and he knows it.

"And?" He quirks an eyebrow at me.

"I was afraid you'd leave me."

He rests his forehead against mine. His voice comes softly like a whisper on the wind. "Penny, I take our relationship very seriously. I would never abandon you or my progeny. Unless you asked me to. I thought it was clear, I'm in this for the as the colloquial term says "long haul."

I watch his eyes looking for signs that he is upset. I don't see any but until I hear the words from his mouth I won't, no, I can't feel happy about this new addition.

"Are you upset that I'm pregnant?"

"Although it is much sooner then I anticipated I am not unhappy about this." I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. "By the way Moon Pie I know your in for the long haul with me, but I'm also a hormonal mess that just wants to be held at night by her partner, best friend and lover."

The silence hangs in the air as we both retreat to our own thoughts. My thoughts linger on that kiss. "Can I have that kiss now?"

He chuckles lightly at my childish antics before leaning down just that little bit more capturing my lips completely. The kiss is slow, lingering and deep. It sends a shiver down my spine. The kiss says more then his words, it's loaded with promise and love. A relief washes over me.

As we come up for air I grab his hand and lead him to the door. "Let's get this over with." So I can bring you home and bed you. I think.

As we near apartment 4A I look Sheldon over once more. Checking to make sure he is presentable. I let go of his hand. He enters before me, taking his seat.

"Hi guys" I freeze, Amy is sitting in my spot. The spot to Sheldon's right is rightfully mine now. I look at Sheldon, he shrugs than stands indicating for me to sit in his spot.

Every one else stares backwards and forwards between Sheldon and I, like they are watching a tennis match.

"Thank you Sheldon" I whisper in a barely audiable voice.

"Are you feeling alright Sheldon?"

"Perfectly fine Leonard, thank you for asking"

"But you never give your spot away. Even the first day Penny moved in you demand she move."

I watch his eye twitch and know he is struggling to stop himself explain why he has given his spot away. He turns away from the group. "Nothing is wrong, let's eat. The food is getting cold and if it gets cold then I'll have to throw it out."

Sheldon sits leaning against the couch in front of me. Initially every one stares, until they realise nothing else is going to happen they all turn back to the television. Once everyone is engrossed in the television I gentle squeeze Sheldon's shoulder with my hand. He in turn reaches up and pats my hand. How I wish we were already out in the open so I could cuddle up to him. We continue to eat and watch Star Trek.

As the show comes to an end Leonard turns to us, I just manage to get my hand back into my lap. "So why did you call this meeting? And why is Sheldon letting you touch him and acting strange?"

The others nod in agreement.

Carefully Sheldon stands, then turns and attentively offers me a hand. I take it and stand next to him in front of the television. Entwining our hands.

"Good evening every one, as you are all aware Penny and I gathered you here this evening to announce some very important information but before we do, I would like to assure you all, Penny and I did not mean to hurt any one of you and would very much like to remain friends."

Leonard already looks irritated, like Sheldon has done something to me.

"Sheldon he slowly releases the word, what did you do?"

"I was getting to that"

I squeeze Sheldon's hand and he squeezes mine. "Why isn't he twitching? Your touching him, he should be twitching" Leonard accuses.

I can't wait any longer to tell them and blurt it out "We're married"

The room falls silent. Howard finally speaks with a nervous laugh "your joking right?"

Sheldon and I look at each other, we are now able to have a conversation with our eyes. He asks what do we do, they don't believe us. I respond with a reassuring squeeze of the hand and a gentle smile.

"Dude, I don't think they are joking." Slowly the others take in the information and our stance. Amy stands, glaring at us both.

"What about us Sheldon? You promised we'd have kids some day."

"I did no such thing Amy Farrah Fowler, when we first met we did discuss the possibility of progeny using laboratory technics to artificially inseminate you. However I never signed or verbally promised you anything."

I look up at Sheldon and know he is still deeply hurt by what Amy did when they were dating. If anything I've come to read Sheldon's body language really well. It's only minute changes like his shoulders slumping slightly, or his hands balling into fists or his fingers twitching.

Leonard finally looks up again with a goofy grin on his face, like he has figured everything out and it's really funny. "You guys are pulling our legs again. Like when Amy told every one that they had sex. Good bazinga guys but I'm not laughing. Now stop this nonsense."

I speak calmly hoping not to make Leonard angry. The last thing I need is to try calm Sheldon down. "Sheldon and I are not joking"

"Sheldon would you do the honour?"

"Gladly"

He slips a ring from his pocket. Not just any ring but the ring he gave to me all those months ago on an outing to Las Vegas for Thanks Giving that turned out horrible for every one.

Sheldon has impeccable taste, even when drunk.

I hear gasps as he slips the ring on my left ring finger. I then give him his ring, that I've been wearing around my neck on a chain. In that moment all I see and hear is my husband. I desperately want to go some where private where we can whisper sweet nothings to each other, whilst making love.

Amy has reached for her bag, I know what's coming and take a step backwards. I don't want to be hit in the face again. "You whore" she swings her bag at me. Sheldon also saw it coming and stepped in front of me. "You knew I was planning to get back together with him and instead you stole him for yourself, what kind of bestie are you?"

Stepping out from behind Sheldon but never straying from his side. "Amy, Sheldon told me why you broke up. In fact it's part of the reason we are now married. You have no rights to him and If you don't want me telling every one then back down. Oh and I never called you my best friend. That title was already taken by Sheldon well and truly before we met." Leonard is now also standing.

"I agree with Amy, you are a whore." He yells. "You have now slept with every male in our circle except Howard." He laughs a humoursless laugh. "Quick Bernadette hide your man before she ensnares him as we'll." Leonard starts pacing. " I mean I told you I loved you and you broke up with me." Suddenly he turns "and you Mr Homonovus" he points a finger. "you know I called dibs. She's mine and I demand you divorce her."

"I shan't and won't, Leonard I have watched for years as you have cheated an abused this woman of a life outside of you. She is not an object to be owned. She is a person. Our marriage may have happened by accident but we are in love. Besides I have not forced her to remain married to me, we discussed it for many days before we decided to give this a try." He softly smiles at me before breaking eye contact to continue his discussion with Leonard.

"And for the record Leonard, Penny never slept with Rajesh. You were just too blinded by jealousy to learn the truth."

After failing to get the response he wanted from Sheldon he turns to me. "I demand you get a divorce" I grab Leonard's hand hoping it will placate him "Leonard, I don't know how or when it happened but I love Sheldon. He is good for me and I'm good for him. I'm sorry this is hurting you" Sheldon finishes my sentence as I struggle to control my emotions. "it was never our intention, but you can't control your chemical reactions to people. Believe me I have tried"

"But what about us?" He wags his finger between myself and himself. "There is no us any more Leonard." The tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "I need you to understand, Sheldon and I are married and it's not a joke." I plead with my eyes to get him to understand. To tell the story my mouth can't at the moment. This is a big reason we needed to tell them, to tell Leonard. He has been trying to get back with me. Only I haven't been able to tell him why I can't. Why I'm happy. Why he needs to move on. He needs to know I'm officially taken and will never be interested in him again. However I wont voice this reason.

Bernadette pipes up "So why are you telling us now, if you've been married almost a year?"

"There are many reasons we are telling you now, the biggest reason been I'm" I take a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

"You bitch. I loved you. I proposed to you twice and you rejected me. Yet you marry Mr No Emotions. I don't have sex. You sure it's his?"

I know Leonard is hurting and trying to inflict as much pain as possible. I'm hoping at the end of this once him and Amy calm down and truly see how wrong for each other we were that we can be friends again. We are better as friends Then lovers. In frustration at Leonard always picking on Sheldon for not showing his emotions I blurt out "He might not wear his heart on his sleeve but he does have emotions and Just because he doesn't jump into bed with every woman that shows interest in him (like you do) doesn't mean this child isn't his. Do you really think so lowly of me? " I let the question hang. Leonard has always thought very little of me and my ability to be loyal. These are his insecurities. Shelson knows I'd never cheat on him. Loyalty builds trust. If I wasn't loyal Sheldon and I definetly wouldn't be together right now.

I'm openly crying now. This is not how I imagined them receiving this information but then again I knew they'd be angry which is why I delayed telling them. That and also we didn't know if we were going to stay together. I always promised myself that if I got married in Vegas, if I hadn't dated the guy and they were a friend that I would give been in a relationship with the person a red hot crack as it's clear I must be sexual attracted to them and trust them enough on a subconscious level. Therefore they are probably worth fighting for. Aside from that Sheldon and I have know each other for years. I was well aware as to what I was getting myself into, even if I wasn't sure that he'd be able to be intimate with me. Another reason we didn't tell them, I didn't want Sheldon to be teased about sex. I didn't want Leonard scaring him off. We have pretty much spent the last year dating, getting to know each other on a more intimate level without any interference from friends or work.

When Sheldon and I woke up in bed together all those months ago, I will admits I was freaked out.

"Penny. Penny. Penny." I'm brought back to the now. Sheldon has pulled me to the couch. I'm sitting on his lap, my head against his chest a blanket over our bodies. I'm still crying only now I don't know if it's because the gesture is so sweet, or I'm angry, happy or sad or all of the above. These hormones really screw with your emotions.

I curl deeper into Sheldon.

"Shhhh, Penny it's alright." I cry harder. Why did it take me so long to notice this beautiful, sweet man. "Penny would you like to tell them our story?"

"Of course Moon Pie. I think you all deserve to know the truth about the last 12 months.

* * *

Now let's rewind twelve months and one week to the beginning of our story


	2. Chapter 2

It's Monday night so it's Thai night. After a gruelling day at the Cheesecake Factory it the last thing I want to do is see every one but I haven't seen the guys much since Leonard and I are not together any more. It always feel makes me feel strange visiting with my ex-boyfriend but then I remember I won't be the only female there tonight, as Sheldon asked us all to be present. The door swings open and in walks Penny.

"Hey Guys"

"Hey" Collectively the group respond with varying degrees of hi and hello.

Amy is the last to respond. "Hello Bestie"

I take my seat on the middle cushion with Sheldon on my left and Bernadette on my right.

Sheldon turns slightly in his seat and clears his throat. "Good, now that every one is gathered we should discuss what we are doing for Thanksgiving seen as it is only a week away. I propose lunch here."

Before he can launch into why the room burst with words of "NO"

"But it's our tradition"

"No"

"I don't want to cook and have you mock my cooking skills. Let's do something fun."

"Fun you say." Howard wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "There is only one place to go that is fun."

"A train museum"

"Um, no. Vegas."

"I think the train museum sounds better"

"No one cares what you think"

"Howie, that wasn't very nice"

"I've never been to Vegas. Can we see a show?"

"Of course Ames" I give her a reassuring smile.

Raj takes a sip of his beer and burst out with "We can see a Celine Dion show"

"Really Raj? That's what you get out of a trip to Vegas? Surely you can do better."

"But Celine is so magical. Every one must see her at least once in concert."

"I don't like this"

"Of course you don't sweetie, how about this I will play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock. If I win you agree to come to Vegas without complaint. If you win, we go to the train museum for Thanksgiving." I jut my chin out, square my shoulders and raise my eyes to stare at him definitely. I do this so he knows I'm laying down a challenge. As I know he isn't very good at reading body language I use the same gesture every time. I'm taking a huge gamble here, I am hoping he will play Spock like he usually does and I haven't just cost us all a fabulous week in Vegas.

He studies me closely. Eyes staring intensely, like I'm his whiteboard. "best of 3, 5 or 10?"

"3"

"If I win you guys have to dress up as well"

I look around the room they all seem nervous, pleading with their eyes for me to win or stop this madness. I'm choosing to read it as they have faith in my ability and are egging me on. "Okay, we dress up"

"And I get to be conductor"

"Sure sweetie"

"Your terms are acceptable. Let's play."

He has a smug look on his face like he does when he thinks he is right about something. Like the first time we played Halo, he had that superior look on his face. And all those words about been better then me. Boy did I enjoy wiping it from his face, much like I'm going to enjoy wiping it off his face right now. He always underestimates my cunning.

Our fists met, "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock." Now If I remember rightly only one thing matters how to beat Spock, I think it's the lizard and paper That beat Spock. Lizard poisons Spock and paper disowns him or something. All I remember is they win in Sheldon's version of rock, scissors, paper. As the last word slips from our mouths I form the lizard sign.

Im in luck Sheldon chose Spock.

"Round one to Penny. Lizard poisons Spock." Howard announces in a referees voice.

Our hands form fists again "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock" I lay my hand flat like paper. Sheldon choose Spock.

"Round two to penny. Paper disproves Spock. Looks like we're going to Vegas"

"Woohoo"

Sheldon is still holding the Spock gesture up.

"We'll sweetie looks like your going to Vegas."

He is staring at me dumb founded. "But that's not possible. Best 3 out of 5?"

"Sorry Sheldon, we already agreed to the terms. Your going to Vegas and you can't complain about it starting now"

Leonard can't help but throw in "Yer Sheldon you never back out of a deal. Specially written ones, You hold every one else to their word now it's your turn."

"But it wasn't written"

"So it was a verbal contract and you lost, deal with it."

"Besides Sheldon you can visit the museum of poker machines"

"Why would I want to go to go to a poker machine museum. They are rudimentary machinery a best that don't require much thought to break down. Besides what would my mother think. She'd send to bible school for a year, telling me gambling is bad and her pray circle would b praying for change."

"Sheldon, your a grown man."

"You clearly weren't raised in Texas. Texan mamas whoop their kids tell they learn the lesson. No matter how old they are" I notice Sheldon has slipped into his Texan accent. He sounds so different, he sounds human, like he comes from some where. I suppose it's 'cause his accent forms when he is distressed. So time for a new tact.

"Think about the history you'll learn"

"I already know the history of poker machines, why would I want to read about it further?"

" I don't know Sheldon. But it's to bad. We are going to Vegas and you can't complain about it." I stick my tongue at him.

"If you don't complain and come, I will agree to buy you a comic book and visit a train museum in Vegas"

He stomps his foot, crosses his arms and says "fine" while looking away from me.

"Well now that's settled what are we watching tonight?"

"Star Trek episode. "The Man Trap." It's season 1, episode 1 of The original series. We'll actually it's really episode 3 if you include the two pilots."

"Sweetie, I don't really care."

"But it's Star Trek"

I don't even bother responding. I roll my eyes pick up my food and switch off.

Hmm, I wonder what hotel we will stay at and whether I can afford it. Oh sipping mojitos by the pool sounds like the lap of luxury to me. Good looking men, with no shirts. Mm, I can't wait. I need a holiday. I haven't been or done anything fun in ages. In fact the last time I went to Vegas was for that bachelorette party, that was the last time I've had any seriously mind numbing fun.

That was a fun night.

The episode finishes. "Well, I've got to go start looking for wine glasses." I know it's a flimsy excuse but any more of this show and I am going to go crazy.

"Hey Penny, can I come help you search?"

"Sure thing Bernadette"

"I'll also assist you Bestie."

"Alright Ames."

The girls and I grab our stuff and leave.

* * *

The girls and I are sprawled around my apartment each with a glass of wine. The television is on but none of us re paying attention to it.

"So lovely ladies, what do you want to do in Vegas?"

"I've never been"

"Neither have I"

I almost spit my wine out. "How have you two lived so close to Vegas and never been before? It was like the first thing I did besides visiting the ocean."

"Penny, whilst you might find this hard to believe I didn't have any friends before my date with Sheldon and it is my understanding that one goes to Vegas with friends"

"Your right, you should go with friends. Good thing you have Bernadette and me" I turn to Bernie, so what's your excuse?"

"Well as you know I'm not from around here, I moved here to get my doctorate. So when I wasn't working at the Cheesecake Factory, I was studying or dating. Every spare moment I had was taken up. Now all my spare time is spent with Howard and you guys." She shrugs lightly.

"What about when it's just you and Howard?"

"He says it's for special occasions only, like bad break ups or group outings"

"Have you ever asked why?"

"Yes, he said it was sacred man territory, which is why it's only for special occasions."

"And you believed that shit?

"Of course not, I've merely never had the opportunity to go that fits into his criteria as acceptable, tell now."

"Good, so what do you want to do?"

"Well I've heard Vegas night clubs are the best place to experience Vegas at its finest and meet prime male specimens. So I would like to visit my first night club."

"Me to"

"We should so find some hot guys and hang out with them. Whilst at the clubs"

"I don't think Howie would like that."

"I don't think Sheldon will care."

"Speaking of which are you two even still together, 'cause you weren't sitting in the middle cushion like you normally do?"

Amy blushes and looks away. "No, we're not. But I still want to be with him. He is the perfect example of the male race. With his long fingers. I imagine he is well endowed in other areas based on his height, the length of his feet and hands"

She stares off dreamily thinking about Sheldon and his assets.

"Earth to Amy." I wave my hand in front of her face.

"Huh?"

"What happened to your five year plan?"

"Um, I'm not allowed to talk about it. Sheldon made me sign a contract."

"Typical Sheldon" Sheldon has contracts for everything. If you can get him to agree to a verbal contract your doing well.

"So how come we didn't know you guys had broken up?"

"That was part of the contract. Unless asked directly about it I wasn't to tell you guys"

"Okay. So Bernie, how are you and Howard?" I turn my full attention to Bernadette.

"We're good. Although Howard has started to ask about kids. I don't want kids. I've only just got my doctorate. Why would I want kids?"

She takes a giant gulp of wine, whilst gesturing for us to continue talking and not wait for her.

"How about you Bestie, you've been single for some time now, any new gentlemen callers?"

"No, I've been busy with work and it just feels to soon to do anything series. I'm enjoying my freedom for now."

We all awkwardly stare off into the distance. I can imagine what Bernie is going through, why would you want kids. I mean I couldn't even tell Leonard I loved him. I really wanna know what happened between Sheldon and Amy. Sure she stopped sitting in my spot but I just thought that was 'cause of Halo night.

"Hey Penny, what else should we do in Vegas?"

"Hmm" I'm woken from my inner thoughts.

"Well you've been to Vegas before, what else is there to do?"

"Well there's the casinos, dance shows, the water fountains at each hotel, night clubs, music shows, pools, beauty spa treatments, bars, um that's about it. Last time I was there was for a bachelorette party so we partied hard. I don't remember doing a lot during the day but at night it was a lot of fun."

I shrug off the question. I don't really remember a lot about the trip as I was drunk for most of it and we were only down there three days.

"How long are we going to Vegas for?"

"We didn't discuss it"

"Where are we staying?"

"We didn't discuss that either"

"Hmm, perhaps we should go back across the hall and find out."

* * *

Back at the boys apartment "so we have some questions, how long are we going to Vegas for? Are we flying or driving? What hotel are we staying at?"

Sheldon clears his throat. "We will stay at the Bellagio, for four days and we will be driving."

"Sheldon I can't afford the Bellagio and why can't we fly?"

"I will pay for your room, if you drive. I don't like flying."

"Fine, you have a deal."

"Now you two have decided. The rest of us are staying at the Mirage"

"Grr, Sheldon" I watch Sheldon take a step back, I'm fuming on the outside. Inside I'm not really angry, I mean yes I'm driving to Vegas instead of flying is a bummer and I'll be stuck with the whack-a-doodle for serval hours in a car but a suite at the Bellagio out weighs his habits, doesn't it? Maybe Sheldon and I can reform our friendship whilst on the road. We haven't really hung out since I dated Leonard. I suspect Leonard told him to buzz off.

"You already agreed." He smiles smugly.

"Yer, without all the facts, but whatever the Bellagio is way to beautiful for me to disagree."

"Well I guess I really should call it a night. I'll have to go in early to the Cheesecake Factory and ask for some time off."

"Night guys" as I close the door I hear a round of good nights and we should also be going.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors notes 1: So this chapter makes sense, I'm going to clarify the time line. Thanksgiving is on Monday, Sheldon and Penny are driving and leaving a day earlier. So they will be driving down Thursday and driving back Tuesday. This chapter is set between Tuesday and Thursday the week before they leave.**

**Note 2: Everything about this story is written from Penny's perspective. All the inside dialogues and feelings are hers. If the other characters seem out of character it's because this is how she is seeing them and interacting with the world around her. It's also why when they are in a group setting you don't see what the other members are doing, unless she notices**

**Note 3: The cockroach equation in this section is completely made up. **

* * *

Knock, knock, knock, Penny

Knock, knock, knock, Penny

Knock, knock, knock, Penny

Blurry eyed I stumble to the door "Sheldon it's 6:30 in the morning, this better be important. Or else I'm going to punch you in the throat."

"Penny with all due respect, you said you'd be up early to contact your manager"

"Uck Sheldon, when I say early I mean like 9-ish." He should know this by now. I gesture him in.

I watch as he beelines for his spot on the couch, gingerly avoiding objects and pushing others off he couch.

I slowly make my way over, hoping not to make an arse of myself by tripping on anything. That just give him more ammunition as to why my apartment needs cleaning. Sitting next to him I stifle a yawn. "Did you at least bring coffee?"

"Of course not, a hot beverage is for when your upset and Leonard is not up yet so the coffee machine hasn't been started."

With those words all my patients with him is lost "What do you want Sheldon?"

"I came to give you your schedule, before I leave for work"

"Schedule?"

"Of course Penny. This is a detailed document of activities we must complete before, during and after we come back "

"I know what a schedule is, Sheldon"

"Then why'd you ask?"

"I didn't, I asked why I needed a schedule"

"No you didn't"

"Yer, I did"

"When, I have Vulcan hearing and didn't hear you utter anything"

It's to early in the morning to give Sheldon a lesson in understanding human tones. "Doesn't matter sweetie"

Taking the schedule I flick through the document. "Really Sheldon what could I possible need to do before we leave aside from pack and reschedule work that it requires a fifteen page document to tell me?"

"Lots of things Penny, this schedule is written for everything you will need to do before, during and after. It includes such activities as emptying your garbage and air your apartment"

"Um Sheldon we are only going for 4 days, it's not like my apartment will become infested in that time."

"Actually if you read the schedule we are going for six days..."

"Wait, wait, wait, six days?"

"Of course, a day to drive down and back. I can't have you killing me in an automobile accident because you were too tired."

"Of course" For a second there I almost thought he cared about some one other then himself. Slowly my mind drifts back to the present.

"And Penny it only takes a single female cockroach six weeks to infect a standard house. Given the difference in size of your abode to a standard house I'd say it takes" his hand starts writing in the air. "Let's say your apartment is 1,300 square feet. Based on those calculations It would take three weeks for an infestation to begin and as we don't know how many cockroaches currently exist in this whirlpool of entropy you call a home it could be much sooner"

"Thanks for that Sheldon"

"Your welcome Penny."

"I was been sarcastic" I need to get him out of here before I do actually punch him or worse. Except I'm not alert enough at them moment to punch him and really just want him gone so I can sleep.

"Oh"

I stand and head towards the door hoping he will follow so I can go back to bed.

He does.

"Well I guess I should take my leave and allow you to get ready for your undoubtably busy day. Don't forget to follow the schedule. I have already packed and plan on reminding the others once we are at work."

"Goodbye Sheldon"

"Good day Penny"

I shut the door and scamper back to bed.

* * *

I'm gonna kill him, what was he thinking sending a singing troop every hour on the hour to remind me how long we have tell we leave and what task I should be completing. The humiliation of it all. I was almost fired because of it, thankfully after the third round I was able to convince them to leave and not return.

I should know by now to take his comments literally, he even warned me. '_Don't forget to follow the schedule Penny.' _I mock his tone on my way up the stairs. Finally making it to the top stair I head straight for apartment 4A.

Knock, knock, knock, Sheldon

Knock, knock, knock, Sheldon

Knock, knock, knock, Sheldon

Whilst I wait for the door to answer I realise I just used Sheldon's knock. I must be pissed. I promised myself I'd never mock Sheldon for his habits.

Leonard opens the door. "Where is he, I'm going to kill him?"

"Join the club, he is hiding in his room"

"What did he do to you?"

"Today at work he uploaded a file to the universities main frame that set off an alarm every hour. The alarm in turn started a video of Sheldon announcing how many nano seconds there were tell Thanksgiving, followed by numerous random facts about Thanksgiving. It was alright the first few times as I was doing experiments and it merely launched his face on my desktop computer, laptop and phone but as I wasn't using them, I was able to ignore them. The fourth time I was in the middle of a lecture when it went off. It took me ten minutes to shut down the video and a further five to redirect the class to the topic we were discussing at which point the class ended. That's why I want to kill him."

My face twist as he tells his story, from confused, to agitated on Leonard's behalf, to finally a small smirk as I realise my story trumps his. It's like trading war stories. "That's nothing, Sheldon organised a singing troop to appear at my work for three hours and sing to me how many hours and what activity I should be doing from his stupid schedule. On top of email and phone alerts." My voice has slowly turned sarcastic. And the angers back as I relive my day my day.

"Ha ha ah ha, I would of paid to see that."

"Not helping Leonard."

"Sorry, a singing troop really?"

Sighing I nod an flop down on the couch, hoping I land in his spot.

"Where are Howard and Raj? Did he do something mean to them as well?"

"Howard received a distress call from Bernadette after she too started receiving alerts. She threw her work laptop out a 6th floor window. She thought she had solved the problem until it started again the next hour"

"I see" I'm glad I wasn't his only victim. Although it sounds like I still coped it worst. Poor Bernadette, bet she didn't know what she'd walked into. Although Bernadette hangs out with the gang, she really doesn't have a lot to do with the boys. I mean she's heard us all complain about Sheldon's antics but never experienced them for herself.

"So Howard is making sure Sheldon's program has been removed from the main frame, our laptops, phones and email, so we can have a normal day at work tomorrow. Whilst calming Bernadette down"

"And Raj?"

"Was worried Sheldon would do something to Coco."

As Sheldon walks in Leonard leaves to pick up tonight's dinner which would normally be a cheeseburger from the Cheesecake Factory but as I'm not working tonight, I imagine he has gone to pick up a cheeseburger from Big Boy. I hope they spit in it.

"Good evening Penny"

"Sheldon" I sit up on the couch.

"Did you complete today's schedule?"

"Of course not, I was too busy working and getting rid of singing troops. So I could drive you to Vegas on Thursday."

"Oh such a pity, I had high hopes for the singing troop as a new method for motivating every one to be ready on time"

I watch him walk to his computer desk open his laptop select a file and start typing. That's it, no apology for interrupting my day, almost getting me fired and totally humiliating me? I don't think so. Time to go Junior Rodeo on his arse.

"Sheldon" poke "are" poke "you" poke "going" poke "to apologise?" One final poke to the chest. I really dig the tip of my finger in, releasing some of the anger.

"What ever for?" He asks rubbing his chest. "If any one one should be apologising it should be you for assaulting my person"

"Oh I don't think so and perhaps for making today one of the worse days in my life?"

"But you said the day you found Kurt in bed with another woman was the worse day of your life. Really Penny you can only have one worse day so which is it?"

"Sheldon it's an expression. I'm upset that you humiliated me at work today"

"I did no such thing. I was merely trying to motivate you to complete the schedule, by letting you know how long you had to complete the tasks, so we could leave on time."

"Well it didn't work. I spent more time trying to hide and not acknowledge they were there."

"Duly noted, I won't use this method again."

"So I won't be expecting any more notifications at work tomorrow?"

"No" I watch his eye twitch.

"You twitched, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing" It twitches again.

"Sheldon" I make sure my voice has plenty of menace in it.

He gulps. "Fine, at midday tomorrow I have organised for a parcel to be sent to each person. When the package is opened it has a non stop commentary about the schedule and Thanks Giving fun facts."

"Why would you do that?" I drop my head in my hands shaking it from side to side. Trying to figure out this strange man I call a neighbour.

A small voice slowly emerges from the man in front of me "So every one would appreciate the effort I go to, to ensure we will be ready and won't forget anything"

I wait patiently sensing there is more.

"I just." He stumbles over his words as he searches for the right words. "Wanted every one to follow the scheduled seen as I won't be here to enforce it."

"Sweetie, you can't control the way people do things. Not every one thinks like you. Not everyone wants to plan every second of every day"

"Why not?"

"Because Sheldon, then they wouldn't be who they are. They'd be you."

"And that's a problem how?"

"Sheldon" I'm exasperated at this point "if every person in the world was like you no one would be special. Do you really want every one to have your IQ?"

"Well no, but you don't need a high IQ to try following the schedules I create.

"Sheldon that is not the point. You are trying to alter people to do things your way"

"Which is the right and logical way, so I don't see a problem"

Abort course. I suppose I can take one for the team. "Tell you what Sheldon, I will try to be ready on time if you stop trying to keep every one on schedule"

"I suppose I can try, but there is nothing I can do about tomorrow's packages"

"Well then I'll just have to. Not open mine" I flop back on the couch and start to think when did he even have time to set all this up? I mean it's a lot to put in place in 24 hours. I'm going to ask him. "Sheldon can I ask you something?"

"You already are"

"Fine. When did you plan all these packages and videos, I mean we only decided to go to Vegas on Monday and today is Tuesday? And I know how much your sleep schedule matters to you" I'm babbling, why am I babbling? It's not an important question and I'm sure Dr Whack-a-doodle understood as soon as I finished the first sentence.

"The last time we planned a group activity, I spent several weeks writing out schedules for every one. Every one ignored the schedule and it took us an over extended period of time to prepare when my method would have taken half the time and we wouldn't have missed any of the show. So I decided to look into methods that would encourage others to follow the schedules I lay out. making them appreciated. So I planned all methods to be activated within a 24 hour period."

"Wow you really do plan for all events"

"Of course I do" he snorts out.

I dawdle to the door. "Any way I need to go I'm working a double shift tomorrow, so I can take Thursday and Tuesday off."

"Good night Penny. Have a good REM cycle."

"I will. Good night sweetie. Please say goodnight to Leonard for me and no more trying to control people" I wait for a response but get none. Sheldon has turned back to his laptop. Quietly I close the door.

* * *

"Hey Guys" I'm in a much better mood today although the parcel arrived at work I made sure no one opened it. Throwing it straight in the bin out the back. I feel sorry for any one who opens it. Yesterday was hell and I never want to experience it again.

"Hello Penny, did you read the schedule today?"

"No, remember I worked a double shift"

"Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory"

"Well then you'll remember I had no time."

He huffs. "Have you packed yet?"

"No"

"Penny we leave tomorrow at 0600"

"English please, I just worked a 15 hour shift and my Sheldon filter isn't working?"

"Your leaving at 6:00am"

"Crap, I promise to pack after dinner"

"Good"

Aww man, why do I do this to myself. Never reading the papers Sheldon gives me. Oh right that's cause it's Sheldon. Besides, I promised to try and he promised to try. Although I don't hold much hope for him trying. Oh well. Even following all his rules we will still arrive early. Sheldon's rules might be over the top but he is definitely efficient at achieving arriving at A to B.

"Alright I'm going to go pack. I'll see you guys in Vegas"

"Sheldon I'll see you tomorrow morning with a steaming cup of coffee"


End file.
